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Mentee
Orientation Tutorial
Shakespeare said, "All
the world is a stage", and Mentoring is no exception. As you
interact with your Mentor, you will find yourself taking up certain
roles – some more effective than others. When used appropriately,
roles like the ‘Inquirer’, the ‘Player’ and the ‘Networker’,
are the hallmarks of effective Mentees.
This module assists Mentees to
become more aware of the roles they use with their Mentors. It will
help you identify how you prefer to learn and provide some useful
suggestions for how to keep your Mentoring relationship going. We
will also examine some of the pitfalls to avoid.
 Roles of
the Effective Mentee
What makes a role effective is
knowing when to use it. There are an infinite number of roles to
choose from, but the most effective roles are usually those that
complement the Mentor’s roles. (see Roles of
the Effective Mentor). For example, a Mentee with a Mentor
who prefers being in a "Sounding Board" role and
explaining topics, would be complemented by a Mentor who has a well
developed "Inquirer" role that likes analysing and asking
questions.
Amongst the array of roles
that Mentees display, we have identified three main roles that
distinguish effective Mentees.
The
Inquirer
Mentees who have a strong
Inquirer role are typically interested in building their
professional expertise. As such they most complement Mentors who
prefer the role of ‘Sounding Board’ and explaining (see
Mentors’
module). They like to know what topics will be covered in
advance and to see how they will lead to achieving Learning Outcomes
that are important to them professionally.
When they respect the
technical expertise of their Mentor, they will gladly conduct
research on discussion topics and analyse the key issues. They enjoy
identifying logical inconsistencies within others’ arguments and
asking probing questions that expose them. As such, they are likely
to challenge the views of their Mentor and learn most from debating
topics/issues.
When possessing a curious
attitude, these Mentees devour information and are receptive to
their Mentor’s arguments. However, if they have use their
analytical skills with a critical attitude, they can become aloof
and defensive when confronted with constructive feedback. Indeed,
some may put off actually applying their new knowledge in favour of
continuing their analysis.
In summary, Mentees with well
developed "Inquirer" roles learn by using their intellect,
analysing what they need to learn and asking questions to enhance
their professional expertise.
The Player
The desire of these Mentees to
combine having fun with being actively involved in the Mentoring
process makes the role name, "Player", particularly
appropriate. As such they complement Mentors who prefer the role of
being a "Leader" and coaching (see
Mentors’
module).
They are most interested in
Mentoring making a practical difference to their current work and
lives. In this regard, their Learning Outcomes usually target skills
and knowledge designed to lift their current work performance.
Similarly, the topics and
questions raised by these Mentees usually relate to current worklife
incidents. Requests to research and analyse topics are less likely
to excite the "Player" Mentee. Instead, practice sessions
are more likely to be grounded in emailed samples of work. By making
these practice sessions fun, the "Player" Mentee can
experiment with new ways of working.
In their rush to action, over
confident "Player" Mentees can sometimes suffer the
consequences of being impulsive and under prepared. Their lack of
analysis can sometimes lead them in the wrong direction.
In short, Mentees with a
"Player" role like to have fun practising new skills,
knowledge and attitudes with their Mentor and to put them into
action in their current worklives.
The
Networker
The Mentee who is in the
"Networker" role typically prefers to share with someone
than spend time thinking through a worklife problem.
At the beginning of the
Mentoring relationship, these Mentees are likely to be open to
asking others for feedback on their current skills, knowledge and
attitudes. Having gathered these views, they are likely to want to
share their findings with their Mentor and agree their Learning
Outcomes.
Because not all the feedback
may be what they expected, such Mentees will often seek out their
Mentor’s support and encouragement. In this way, the "Networker"
Mentees complement the Mentors who prefer being in the role of
"Supporter" and encouraging their Mentees (see
Mentors’
module).
Discussion topics often centre
around incidents that occur in the Mentee’s worklife and the
development of relationships with other work colleagues. Feelings
can run high and if a Mentor does not acknowledge those feelings, a
"Networker" Mentees can quickly feel misunderstood and
ignored. Slow replies from a Mentor may also generate these
feelings, so it is important that both Mentor and Mentee respect the
demands of their busy lives.
Sometimes the disclosure of
personal issues can impinge upon the professional Mentoring
relationship and the achievement of Learning Outcomes. When this is
managed effectively, the Mentor becomes an key contact in the Mentee’s
professional network. Having said that, it is important to encourage
the Mentee to have a range of contacts, otherwise some Mentees can
develop a dependency on the Mentor’s opinions.
To sum up, Mentees with a well
developed "Networker" role value the views of others,
enjoy learning by sharing their experiences and receiving the
support of others around them.
Learning
Preferences
Just as we prefer to use our
right or left hands to write, so in Mentoring we have preferences to
use different roles and take certain actions. Some actions seem to
come more naturally and require less effort to do well. We call
these actions our "learning preferences".
In this section, we will
discuss three learning preferences that relate to the three roles
that effective Mentees use. (see The Roles of
the Effective Mentees section).
| Learning
Preferences |
Related Mentee Roles |
| Analysing |
Inquirer |
| Practising |
Player |
| Sharing |
Networker |
As you read this section, ask
yourself, "What Mentee roles and actions do I find most easy to
do well – which require the least effort and come the most
naturally?" These will be your learning preferences.
What
is your Learning Preference?
Analysing
Mentors who have a well
developed "Inquirer" role tend to prefer to learn by analysing the different components and issues involved in different
skills, knowledge and attitudes. Shown below are some behaviours
that describe a Mentee with a "Analysing" learning
preference.
- Uses a skills list or
survey to identify their current skills, knowledge and
attitudes.
- Breaks down the Learning
Outcomes into component parts and steps.
- Prepares a schedule of
topics to discuss with the Mentor that links with the Learning
Outcomes.
- Gathers information about
discussion topics and sends it to the Mentor to read.
- Raises issues and questions
that identify inconsistencies within and between different
views.
- Debates issues and
challenges the Mentor’s views from time to time.
- Prepares plans and scripts
of proposed views and actions.
- Assesses own progress
towards chosen Learning Outcomes.
Consider the above Mentoring
actions. Are they the type of actions that come naturally to you
without much effort? If so, your Mentoring preference is probably
"Analysing". If not, read about the Mentoring actions that
typify the Practising and
Sharing
learning preferences.
Practising
Mentors who have a well
developed "Player" role tend to prefer to learn by
practising the different components and issues involved in different
knowledge areas and skills. Shown below are some behaviours that
describe a Mentee with a "Practising" learning preference.
- Sends brief emails
minimising the use of concepts.
- Proposes Learning Outcomes
that directly impact issues in the Mentee’s current worklife.
- Requests Mentor to give
feedback and suggestions on how to improve specific work
incidents and documents.
- Gets impatient if the
practical application of theories are not pointed out promptly.
- Thinks of ways to make
Mentoring discussions fun. Uses humour.
- Puts Mentor’s suggestion
into practice relatively quickly.
- May revert to old ways of
working if early attempts at new skills/knowledge/attitudes do
not meet with success.
Consider the above Mentoring
actions. Are they the type of actions that come naturally to you
without much effort? If so, your Mentoring preference is probably
"Practising". If not, read about the Mentoring actions
that typify the Analysing and
Sharing
learning preferences.
Sharing
Mentors who have a well
developed "Networker" role tend to prefer to learn by
sharing with others their experience of using different skills,
knowledge and attitudes. Shown below are some behaviours that
describe a Mentee with a "Sharing" learning preference.
- Asks other people for their
views on their current and future capabilities.
- Shares other peoples’
views with their Mentor to agree Learning Outcomes.
- Discloses aspects of their
personal lives relatively early in the Mentoring relationship.
- Learning Outcomes relate
mainly to people and the Mentee’s future career.
- Opens Mentoring discussions
usually by sharing what has been happening in their work and
personal lives.
- Discuss options in terms of
professional and personal ethics, rather than solutions to
specific issues.
- Evaluates progress towards
Learning Outcomes by asking others for feedback.
Consider the above Mentoring
actions. Are they the type of actions that come naturally to you
without much effort? If so, your Mentoring preference is probably
"Sharing". If not, read about the Mentoring actions that
typify the Analysing and
Practising
learning preferences.
Mentees –
Useful Tips
Like a writer with writer’s
block, there are times when as a Mentee you will ask yourself,
"Where do I start?" and "Where to next?" This
section provides Mentees with a list of useful tips on how to keep
your Mentoring relationship growing. These suggestions are organised
around the five key tasks of the "e-Mentoring Cycle".
Questions
to establish rapport
- Tell me about your career
to date?
- What work are you doing
currently?
- Have you had a Mentor?
- Do you have a Mentor now?
- What work do you want to be
doing in the future?
- Where have you studied?
- What professional/industry
association do you belong to?
- What is your favourite way
of spending your spare time?
- What are your hobbies?
- How do you most like to
learn? Through your head, heart or by doing?
- What are you most proud of
achieving in your worklife?
- What do you expect from me
as a Mentee?
- What sort of people most
irritate you? What do they say and do?
Questions
to agree learning outcomes
- What skills, knowledge
and/or attitudes do you think were most important getting you to
where you are now?
- What skills, knowledge and
attitudes are required to perform X role or achieve Y result?
- How do people usually know
when they have mastered X skill, Y knowledge or Z attitude?
- How many (X’s) are
produced usually if I master this skill/knowledge/attitude?
- How do people usually
measure how well they have learnt this skill/knowledge/attitude?
- How long do you think it
will take me to learn the skill/knowledge/attitude?
- What resources do you think
I will need to master this skill/knowledge/attitude?
Questions to generate
Discussion Topics
- Do you see any themes
running through the worklife incidents I have shared with you?
- What sort of people do you
see me mostly using this skill, knowledge or attitude with? Are
there any issues concerning these people that we could discuss?
- What skills, knowledge
and/or attitudes do you think will be most important to me
achieving my Learning Outcomes?
- Are there any topics I
overlooked that would be important to me achieving my Learning
Outcomes?
- Where do you see me using
these skills, knowledge or attitudes the most? What aspects of
these situations do you think are most valuable to discuss?
- What information do you
think I will need to put these skills, knowledge or attitude
into practice? Perhaps we could discuss information XYZ as a
topic?
- What technology will I need
to put these skills, knowledge or attitudes into practice? Are
there any particular types of technology that we could discuss?
- In your experience, what do
you think are the key issues involved in this topic?
- In your experience, what
are the most common mistakes that people make when trying to do
ABC?
- What courses, books or
articles do you know that are available on the topic?
- Who could I ask about this
topic to find out more?
- Which skill, knowledge or
attitude are you most interested in discussing?
- What do other people think
about this issue?
When to
Analyse, Practice or Talk
Our habits and preferences
make it easier for us to settle for using a limited range of
approaches to learning. In contrast, our worklife situations keep
changing. Other people have diverse habits and learning preferences
that are different to our own. Inevitably the Mentee who has a
limited repertoire will find that some of their roles and
preferences are less ineffective in some situations and with some
people.
For this reason we encourage
Mentees to be flexible. Firstly, by recognizing their Mentor’s
roles and Mentoring preferences. Secondly, by adopting roles and
learning preferences that complement their Mentor’s roles and
Mentoring preferences. The diagram below shows which Mentee roles
and learning preferences tend to complement the different roles and
Mentoring preferences of Mentors. (see
Roles
of the Effective Mentee and What is
your Learning Preference?)
Complementary
Roles and Preferences of Mentors and Mentees
|
Mentor’s
Role |
|
Mentoring
Preference |
|
|
Learning
Preference |
|
Mentee’s
Role
|
|
Sounding Board |
 |
Explaining |
|
 |
Analysing |
|
Inquirer |
|
Leader |
|
Coaching |
|
|
Practising |
|
Player |
|
Supporter |
|
Encouraging |
|
|
Sharing |
|
Networker |
The above diagram suggests
that taking up the role of "Inquirer" and learning mainly
by "Analysing", will tend to be more effective with a
Mentor who enjoys the role of "Sounding Board", and who
prefers to Mentor by "Explaining".
Similarly, when communicating
with a Mentor whose primary role is that of "Leader", the
Mentee will probably learn more if they enact the complementary role
of "Player", and actively "Practice" the skills,
knowledge or attitudes they desire.
Likewise, Mentors who are
"Supporters", who Mentor mostly by
"Encouraging", are complemented by Mentees who adopt the
role of "Networker". They share their learning experiences
with their Mentor and gain "Support" to learn from others
by expanding their network.
How to provide feedback to
your Mentor
The key to giving feedback to
your Mentor is being clear about your purpose. If it is to assist
the Mentor and your yourself to build the relationship, then your
words will be less likely to generate a defensive response.
If, however, you feel upset
with your Mentor and wish to inflict some pain in return, then your
feedback will most probably create more of the same upsetting
behaviour. In such cases, it is usually better to postpone giving
your feedback until you can choose to give your feedback with a more
constructive purpose in mind.
Not warning your Mentor that
you intend to give feedback is another common mistake that makes it
less likely that the Mentor will respond positively. Accordingly,
make it a habit of concluding each topic discussion by agreeing what
will be discussed in the next Mentoring session. That way you can
ask to put giving feedback to your Mentor on the agenda of the next
meeting. This allows your Mentor to start thinking about what has
gone well and what could have been improved. As a consequence, the
Mentor will be more ready to discuss any areas for improvement.
The actual delivery of
feedback is usually best done by giving the Mentor specific examples
of his/her behaviour. A useful way of describing such examples is to
outline the Context in which the behaviour occurred, who was
involved and when. Within this context, you can then describe the
Actions the Mentor took and the Results achieved.
If you have any concerns about
your Mentor’s response to feedback, please contact the Mentors
Online Project Officer at APESMA at Mentorsonline@apesma.asn.au
How to respond to a Mentor
that rejects your suggestions/feedback
People react to feedback in
many different ways. Some people see it as an opportunity to learn
and feel flattered when praised. Some may trivialise the feedback
given, others may rationalise it as being due to external factors,
whilst still others may feel insulted and vent their anger.
Mentors are no exception and
some may choose to reject your feedback. Amidst their reaction to
your feedback, remember to ask yourself: "Who owns the
upset?" If the answer is, "The Mentor", you can
probably see yourself as separate to the Mentor’s reaction, and
not take their words personally.
To maintain your relationship
with the Mentor, make sure you paraphrase what your Mentor has said
and done. Ensure you use some of the Mentor’s key words to show
you really understand their reaction to your feedback and ask if you
have correctly understood the Mentor’s reaction. When Mentor
confirm you have understood them correctly, then you can take the
next step and ask the Mentor, "How do you think we could move
forward from this?" The Mentor’s answer usually provides a
platform upon which to re-build the Mentoring relationship.
If you have any concerns about
your Mentor’s feedback, please contact the Mentors Online Project
Officer at APESMA at Mentorsonline@apesma.asn.au
Common
Pitfalls of Mentees
As a Mentee, you are expected
to make some mistakes as you learn. Shown below are some of the less
effective ways of learning as a Mentee. Knowing these in advance may
minimise the mistakes Mentees make and enable them to recognise how
they may be contributing to any problems in their Mentoring
relationship.
- Resisting agreeing
measurable and observable Learning Outcomes at the beginning of
the Mentoring relationship. This can lead to problems later when
Mentee’s forget their purpose and hesitate at putting in the
effort to master the skills, knowledge or attitudes that will
assist them in their worklife.
- Not requesting their Mentor
agree a regular date, time and email address to conduct
Mentoring discussions e.g. one hour every two weeks at 4.30pm on
a Tuesday. In this way, other work commitments can be scheduled
around the regular Mentoring discussions. A totally ad-hoc
approach runs the risk of Mentoring discussions being repeatedly
cancelled because of clashes with "more important"
work commitments.
- Not agreeing a procedure
for postponing discussions. Not keeping to an agreed schedule of
contact quickly undermines trust in any Mentoring relationship.
It is important to agree how you will notify each other of
unavoidable changes to plans and work commitments e.g. wherever
possible, email at least one working day prior to postponing a
scheduled Mentoring discussion, or phone if shorter notice is
absolutely necessary.
- Not agreeing a schedule of
topics to be discussed with your Mentor. Having a topic schedule
enables Mentoring partners to make conscious choices about
postponing a topic if a more pressing worklife issue needs to be
discussed immediately. Without a topic schedule, Mentees can
find themselves digressing on to their favourite topics and
arrive at a place where they are unsure about what to discuss
next.
- Mentees not volunteering at
the end of each topic discussion to write a concise summary of
what was learnt, actions agreed and the date, time and email
address of the next Mentoring discussion.
- Withholding complaints
about your Mentor, especially airing complaints with people
other than the Mentor. The latter is a breach of
confidentiality. The remedy is for the Mentee to ask for what
he/she wants from their Mentor as and when these needs arise –
versus suppressing them and allowing them to build up and damage
the Mentoring relationship.
- Not requesting your Mentor
to schedule a mid-way and end of Mentoring review of progress
towards the Learning Outcomes. A mid and end of Mentoring
reviews provide Mentees with the opportunity to discuss their
Learning Outcomes and ensure they are still relevant to their
prevailing worklife circumstances. They also provide a reliable
forum when Mentees know they will have an opportunity to discuss
their achievements, any set backs and their future.
- Mentees not asserting their
views because they are contrary to the views of their Mentor.
Mentors never stop learning. The fresh views of Mentees often
contribute to the Mentor’s own professional development.
- Not creating a specific
folder for your Mentor in a private directory. This saves time
in retrieving information and maintains confidentiality.
- Rushing to discuss topics
and worklife issues without first sharing information about each
other’s professional background and current worklife events.
Without this information questions can be asked that are
inappropriate to the Mentor’s circumstances, skills, knowledge
and attitudes e.g. disclosing information about the business
activities of a Mentor’s competitor.
- Not acknowledging what the
Mentor has said, before stating a differing point of view or
changing the subject. When this occurs, Mentors often feel their
explanation has been ignored.
- Using language that could
be interpreted as not respecting the Mentor’s skills,
knowledge and attitudes. Critical statements such as, "I
would have expected you to know XYZ …", lower the Mentor’s
self esteem.
- Using phrases that assume
the Mentor already has a skill, knowledge or attitude can make
it more difficult for a Mentor to admit not knowing e.g.
"As you would be aware, …."
- Cushioning feedback by
being vague and obtuse because of a concern that you may hurt
the Mentor’s feelings. Not being clear about your intentions
when you give feedback to your Mentor. By directly stating the
known facts, you can actually communicate that you respect the
Mentor’s capability to handle the feedback.
- Not reminding the Mentor at
least two topic discussions prior to a Mentoring relationship
coming to a close. Forewarning Mentors minimises the shock and
loss that many Mentors experience when a Mentoring relationship
ends. Losing a Mentee can be like losing a close personal
friend.
Thankyou for completing the
Mentees' module. You can now proceed to register as a Mentee with
Mentors Online.
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